Immature

Sometime, I am thinking that what is feeling? why must human must have feeling?? If I have no feeling isnt it good for me or vice versa?? I am using the black colour as my blog background to show I am a very dissoptimistic . I always easily feel nervous and always lost control. I easy get angry , get incensed and then hysterical. Sometime , really can be very down the whole day, crying and hiding myself under the bed . Sometime hope that someone can come and rescue me . However, that people never appeal. I have told myself before no need to have any feeling. Let live like a walking mummy without feeling. No sadness,happiness,angry,and so on. Just do whatever I have to do, studying,working,dying. This is my life,no colour . Only black and white. No people will come to colourise it. Just let it be. Sometime I smile, I laugh doesnt mean that I am happy. the real happiness is I smile from my heart. Who can make me for that? Still waiting. I try to love someone and try to help and try to do the thing by using all my strength,but in the end I just discovered I am tired of it. I like to drive car to anywhere. Life is like an endless highway, while passing through the highway, you can see different view. Beautiful view and ugly view. Even the weather suddenly raining,sudden sunny. Life is full of unexpectedness. I just a little immature woman.